Happy Sunday lovelies! I'm sure as you're reading this the feeling of dread is creeping in when you realise how close it is now to Monday and the start of a new work either back at work or in education. Even though I work from home, I still get that feeling of slight dread sometimes when I realise it's a new week and the weekend is over. Although sometimes I can combat those things we like to call the monday blues with a few helpful tricks and also ways to ease myself into it being a new week again.
One of the many perks about blogging is that is has such a huge community of like minded people, that it can make what is essentially a lone wolf hobby a lot less about being alone and more about being surrounded by other bloggers. Although if you are shy or suffer with social anxiety, it can be hard to put yourself out there and engage with others. Or perhaps you just don't have any idea as to how you can get involved and how you can stop isolating yourself from bloggers.
Whilst the majority of bloggers are pretty friendly and will welcome you with open arms, there are the few hard gems that will try to tear people down. Don't let these people ruin your hopes of wanting to join the community. Anyone and everyone is welcome. Whether you're a small new blogger or have been around for awhile, you all deserve a chance to get involved in the blogging community and here are some ways to do just that...
This is something that has been playing on my mind for a while now. When you have suffered with any kind of mental illness for a long period of time and for it to have taken over pretty much most aspects of your life, it can sometimes leave you with this feeling of 'who the hell am I?'. When this feeling hits, it can feel like a kick to the stomach and gives you an ache in your chest, the realisation that you have lost yourself to what can be a brutal illness that is so misunderstood by the outside world. It's almost like your identity is completely stripped and taken away. You start to wonder just who you would possibly be if you didn't have your mental illness.
For me I can only answer this question with, 'I don't have a bloody clue!'
Because I simply don't have any idea. Anxiety and depression has taken over pretty much every aspect of my life. It's stopped me from working, it's stopped me from going to college, it's stopped me from socialising, it's stopped me from leaving the house, it's stopped me from sleeping and eating, it's stopped me from taking medication that is suppose to help me, it's stopped me from going to events, it's stopped me from having stable relationships with people and enjoying the things that are suppose to make me happy.
It has taken over every single thing I could possibly think of and you may be sitting here thinking 'Well, why let it win? Why let it get that bad?' and trust me, I have gone over the same thing in my head over and over again. I ask myself why I would let things go so bad and how I could ever do that to myself. But the thing is when you are so wrapped in it all, when you and everyone around you can't understand the illness, it can just happen without you even realising and so so so quickly.
It almost becomes a way of life to live with this illness. It's hard to imagine my life without it and a life before it seems like a very distant memory, it sometimes even feels like it wasn't even possible. Everyone obviously has mental health, whether it's good or bad is dependent on the individual. I know for sure I have had times before the diagnosis, even dating back to when I was eight years old of times when my mental health illness behaviours or thought patterns have cropped up. But it wasn't until those four years ago at sixteen years of age did they become this huge problem for me to be diagnosed and classed as mentally unwell.
And it brings me on to then ask myself 'What do you do if you don't have it?' like it almost confuses me to think that some people don't actually suffer with mental illnesses like I do, like they don't have to analyse everything, or stop themselves from doing things because they don't have to take hundreds of things into consideration before hand. It's like a completely different world I haven't been familiar with for the longest time and almost feels impossible I could ever get there again.
It leaves you feeling empty and a little lost. You feel scared thinking whether or not your life will always be like this, if you will always have a mental illness and how much more it could possibly take from you when it's taken everything already. You have nothing else for it to take. It has beaten and bruised everything that it can. The damage still remains and it's a fighting battle to repair it all.
It makes time feel like it's all been a huge waste, like you are a waste and that someone else should have your time and use it more productively than you have. It makes you feel guilty and ashamed. It makes you want to continue to run from it all and give up, or to give in and just let it takes its course, hope the only thing you have left on your side and sometimes even that is running out of energy.
So no wonder, you are sitting there, the thoughts inside your head screaming 'Who am I without my mental illness?'
In my eyes, I find it hard to come up with any reasons. Whether that's society telling me that if I don't have 'x, y, z' then I am a nobody, that I don't have a label and can't take an identity, or whether it's just the illness telling me that I don't deserve the be anything but the illness right now.
In someways, anxiety and depression has almost become like my annoying companion. They're both always there when I wake up and even there at night when I go to sleep, sometimes interfering with my dreams. I can never escape it. But I can learn to work with it and sometimes even use it to my own advantage. The fight or flight system that functions alongside anxiety is something we all have. But for an anxiety sufferer, this system has gone slightly out of synch.
Right now I would say mine is rebooting, it's trying to find it's way again with a new system of functioning properly, in the way that I want it to rather than against me like it has done, which typically leads it to blowing up right in front of me of a chaos of emotions and destructive thoughts.
Right now I would say mine is rebooting, it's trying to find it's way again with a new system of functioning properly, in the way that I want it to rather than against me like it has done, which typically leads it to blowing up right in front of me of a chaos of emotions and destructive thoughts.
All this self torment from the illness that hasn't just affected my life and my mental health, it's also affected me physically also. But I can stand up now and say that I do not deserve any of it. That I have learnt through the sheer pain of it all and through hard work of educating myself over and over again, that I can actually be in recovery and to get my identity back piece by piece.
I have mentioned before on my blog that this year has been the most life changing and challenging, I have faced things that anxiety stopped me from doing, like going out for meals again, getting into a new relationship, sitting in a pub with actual people, going on short breaks away from home. For me last year these things seem so unattainable, like they could never possibly happen. But from hard work, motivation, encouragement and support from other people, self love and care, patience and understanding these things are possible and make everything seem so real again.
Do I want to go back to the person who I was before this illness?
No. I don't.
Because as my therapist said, I am finding my feet in the world again. I am working out who I am and learning about myself. I am shifting into the person I was always supposed to be. I am learning and changing. I am walking that path towards change and transitioning into what I hope to be. I am discovering how to really and truly love myself and my life. I am trusting time and hope. I am giving my anxiety and depression a chance to just let it be, I am giving time to those feelings that I have pushed out of the way or worked against for so long. I am getting back my identity.
Any mental illness, whether it's depression and anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, an eating disorder, bipolar, schizophrenia, any personality disorder etc, it does not have to define you or become the person you are. Sure you might have it take over your life, but you still live there inside. You're still a human being. You still have feelings. You still deserve the best. You have every chance to start again. It might operate within you, but you do not operate within your illness. It does not have to win every battle nor does it have to dominate you anymore.
It can be scary to step back out there into the unknown without it screaming so loudly or ruling your every move. It can feel unfamiliar and different, something you're not used to and it can be confusing. It can almost make you not want to be without it because it's almost become like a comfort. But it doesn't have to work so closely with you. It can be there. Just not in the same way. You can use it to move forward by accepting it, learning and letting go.
It will feel like you've lost something. But the biggest gain will be that you will find yourself again.
You will find out who you are without your mental illness. You will be able to step out that front door, breathe in the fresh air and put your feet firmly back on the ground. You will be able to turn to that person next to you, shining a bright genuine smile and feel the warmth hit your heart. You will be able to stand back up with courage and confidence, heading towards your new path of rebuilding your life and self. You will be able to achieve everything you want to and come out of this ten times stronger than what you were when you went into the storm.
So when you're ready, work towards that recovery and walk towards finding yourself again without your mental illness shouting so loudly in the background. You will get better. I know it. I believe it. I am proof of it, and so are you. You are living proof it will get better.
Your illness does not have to be the biggest part of you. Your love, wisdom and strength will shine a lot brighter than it ever will.
Do I want to go back to the person who I was before this illness?
No. I don't.
Because as my therapist said, I am finding my feet in the world again. I am working out who I am and learning about myself. I am shifting into the person I was always supposed to be. I am learning and changing. I am walking that path towards change and transitioning into what I hope to be. I am discovering how to really and truly love myself and my life. I am trusting time and hope. I am giving my anxiety and depression a chance to just let it be, I am giving time to those feelings that I have pushed out of the way or worked against for so long. I am getting back my identity.
Any mental illness, whether it's depression and anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, an eating disorder, bipolar, schizophrenia, any personality disorder etc, it does not have to define you or become the person you are. Sure you might have it take over your life, but you still live there inside. You're still a human being. You still have feelings. You still deserve the best. You have every chance to start again. It might operate within you, but you do not operate within your illness. It does not have to win every battle nor does it have to dominate you anymore.
It can be scary to step back out there into the unknown without it screaming so loudly or ruling your every move. It can feel unfamiliar and different, something you're not used to and it can be confusing. It can almost make you not want to be without it because it's almost become like a comfort. But it doesn't have to work so closely with you. It can be there. Just not in the same way. You can use it to move forward by accepting it, learning and letting go.
It will feel like you've lost something. But the biggest gain will be that you will find yourself again.
You will find out who you are without your mental illness. You will be able to step out that front door, breathe in the fresh air and put your feet firmly back on the ground. You will be able to turn to that person next to you, shining a bright genuine smile and feel the warmth hit your heart. You will be able to stand back up with courage and confidence, heading towards your new path of rebuilding your life and self. You will be able to achieve everything you want to and come out of this ten times stronger than what you were when you went into the storm.
So when you're ready, work towards that recovery and walk towards finding yourself again without your mental illness shouting so loudly in the background. You will get better. I know it. I believe it. I am proof of it, and so are you. You are living proof it will get better.
Your illness does not have to be the biggest part of you. Your love, wisdom and strength will shine a lot brighter than it ever will.
Have you ever experienced this feeling?
What would you advice be to someone who feels this way?
Lauren x
I've been beauty blogger for over two years now, writing my views on different products I've tried and tested, as well sharing tips and tricks I've learnt since my passion for makeup began. But just because I seem to have a good understanding of the beauty world, it doesn't mean that I'm not guilty of doing a few certain things that may not be expected from a beauty blogger. I have some confessions that a lot of you can probably can relate to as well, but also ones that are confessions of my own.
It's over a couple of weeks now until that spooky time of the year hits once again. Halloween is one of the autumn's top celebrations and is usually associated with being more suitable for kids. But why does the fun have to stop when you reach a certain age? You can still celebrate halloween at any age and in whatever way you want to. I'm personally not a huge go all out halloween kind of girl, but I still try to embrace it in someway. If you're like me or just need some ideas on how to celebrate this year, then I've got 8 fun ways to celebrate halloween below...
For me, beauty is all about trial and error. What works for someone else, will not necessarily work for you or I, so it is always best to give things a go and then sack them off if they do not work out for you. I've learnt a lot of beauty tips over the years from my mum, friends, makeup artists in the media and other bloggers in the beauty industry. Some like I said have worked wonders, others not so much and that is totally ok. But there are the ones that have stuck with me and I use regularly to ensure I reach their full potential. Here are 10 beauty tips I swear by...
You're laying in bed on a Sunday morning, having a little scroll through Instagram admiring everyone's latest uploads whilst you sit in your warm bed with a cuppa, when suddenly you see someone has uploaded yet another new blog post that week. The realisation suddenly hits when you think back to the last time you uploaded or even wrote out and took photos for a post. With your daily routine of going to work or spending hours in education, socialising with loved ones and catching up around the house when you do get a spare moment, and overcoming any problems that arise in the week that can knock you for six, it can be easy to let your blog slip out of your hands and completely get lost in the chaos.
There are so many different spot treatments and products within the beauty market, all claiming to do different things for your skin whilst still keeping the one aim to get rid of those annoying spots that just won't seem to budge. I've tried many treatments over the years to get rid of hormonal breakouts I suffer with usually on my chin, but what also sometimes crop up on my cheeks or forehead when I'm stressed. Some have worked well, others not so much. But one I'll always go back to was just sat in my bathroom cabinet, a product I've been familiar with since I was younger and one my family always ensure we have somewhere in the house.
The one product I'm talking about is famously used for things like nappy rash, eczema, sunburn and minor burns, due to it being an antiseptic based cream. Sudo Crem is the one product I'm going on about and the one product I'll never stop using. I love using it treat acne. It literally works miracles on my skin. And whenever someone has an annoying spot or has a terrible break out, I'm always recommending them to put on some Sudo Crem and watch it just disappear in a matter of a couple of days.
What I love the most about Sudo Crem is that you're not limited the amount of times you can put it on during the day. Of course don't put it on every single hour, but reapplying every few hours is totally fine and I have slept in Sudo Crem plenty of times before, as it's just easier since you don't have to leave the house with white patches on your face and can keep it on for a good period of time.
The reason why Sudo Crem is so good for treating spots is because it works on reducing and healing angry red swollen spots. With the help of the antiseptic parts of the cream, your spots after one use of the cream reduce in redness and size. I always feel like mine almost shrink and shrivel up after using this. Come the second use of Sudo Crem, I then notice a significant reduction in the spot size and also the appearance, with them almost close to healing. I then either apply another amount for a third time or leave it to go away on its own naturally, which also works just as well since the redness and swollen look has completely gone.
What's also a massive seller for me is that Sudo Crem really helps to avoid your spots scarring or leaving any marks on your skin of where your spots once where. For me this is a massive pet hate when my spots scarre, as they are such a pain to get rid of and I've tried everything to try stop it. Sudo Crem is the only thing that helps to heal them properly and return my skin back to normal.
The cream is also good for any dry skin suffers out there. The cream will help to get rid of any dry patches or flakey skin by calming it down and soothing the affected area. My cream always feels quite cool when I apply it onto the skin, just by keeping it in my cupboard. This can make it super soothing on the face, especially if you have any sore dry patches. The smell also plays a role in why it is so calming as it is thought to have lavender inside, which we all know is a calming and relaxing scent.
For me Sudo Crem is super underrated when it comes to skincare and I always feel like it's one that is forgotten about in the beauty world because it is aimed more at babies and younger children. But the reality is that it works for so many different things. It's quick and convenient to use. You do not need to apply many amounts of it to achieve the results you want, which of course is an acne free skin. It's also so reasonable priced against other acne treatments, that you can end up spending a fortune on in one go, let alone when you need to repurchase, and they probably do not even work as well as the easy option that comes with using Sudo Crem.
Sudo Crem is the one spot treatment I'll never stop using!
Have you used Sudo Crem before?
Lauren x
This post contains affiliate links.
Us girls really deserve to take credit for what we have to put up with in our daily lives, but also what happens to our bodies once a month. It's well known how uncomfortable and unbearable our periods can be, but for me personally and perhaps you even reading this, you might find the little time before your period arrives (I say it like it's some sort of delivery?! If only it was, then I could return it when it becomes way too much haha), those stages of PMS, the technical term actually being Premenstrual Syndrome, those physical and emotional symptoms that can literally make you feel all over the place from one day to the next.
With October now here and some bloggers deciding to partake in the famous blogtober (blogging everyday in october), it's only rightly that us bloggers start to think about taking on the challenge of blogmas throughout december and the lead up to Christmas. Like blogtober, blogmas focuses on blogging everyday until the 25th of December. For the first time last year, I participated in the challenge and I definitely learnt a lot from daily blogging during that time. So today I thought it would be a good idea to share some of my top tips for a successful blogmas, the tips I plan on using and that I hope you might too if you decide to take on blogmas this year.